Curling was on the box last night. Look, I know Curling is an easy target. And it’s easy to rap, so I went in with an open mind. Maybe there is something to the sport’s nuances, and the teamwork, precision and communication necessary to dominate. Well, if there is, I’m not seeing it. What I am seeing…is a bar game.
A bar game featuring a few dudes, with brooms furiously sweeping their shoulders off and another dude sliding a cheese-wheel across the ice and screaming bloody murder for 30 seconds!
And Curling isn’t sort of like a bar game. It is a bar game! The only thing missing is the bucket of beers off to the side. Because like any bar game, I’m sure “Curlers” play better with a few in them. Where’s the chalkboard next to the pitch to keep score with tally marks? And quarters lined up on the ice so teams can call “next”? And the jukebox with Brian Adams and Nickelback blaring? How do you ever get into Curling?! I mean, are these just the guys who the other kids wouldn’t let play Hockey?
Look, I’m not saying it’s not fun, and that I’m don’t like watching. But I like watching people play darts and Galaga. And no one’s putting them on TV and awarding gold medals to the winners!
